Friday, July 8, 2011

And the Interweb Froot Loop of the Week Award goes to...

... Mercy5, who posted this manifesto in the comments section under a review of the Kevin James movie Zookeeper:

Some of you may have heard that the recently released Hangover 2 movie featured a capuchin monkey. Unfortunately, this same capuchin is featured in yet another upcoming movie (as well as an assortment of several other animals), titled The Zookeeper. It premieres on July 8, which just one week away. Please avoid contributing to the box office receipts for this movie—don't go see it!
Capuchin monkeys used for entertainment and kept as pets are typically ripped from their mothers at birth, causing irreparable psychological harm. When they grow too large and strong to be handled, many monkeys are discarded at pseudo-sanctuaries and shoddy roadside zoos because there simply aren't enough reputable sanctuaries to care for them all. Some may spend years and even decades in horrifying conditions after they are no longer useful to their trainers. Additionally, monkeys have complex physical, social, and psychological needs that cannot be met in human homes or training compounds. Life in the entertainment industry denies monkeys proper exercise, natural diets, and interaction with others of their kind. The loss of freedom and independence leads to loneliness, boredom, and depression.
Please spread the word to your friends and encourage them to boycott this movie with you. Let them know that monkeys should not be used in TV and film media, including the reasons listed above. Thank you for speaking up for those who cannot speak for themselves!

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Peanut allergy? Tell Jesus I said "hi".

If you're allergic to nuts--and, if I'm to go by those little "may contain traces of peanut molecules" signs I see fucking everywhere, 9 out 10 of the people reading this must be--you might want to avoid Nature Valley peanut butter granola bars, which carry this advisory text:

Contains: peanut, soy; may contain almond and pecan ingredients.

I wonder if they sprinkled a little gluten on top, just so the celiac disease crowd doesn't feel left out?

Basically, if you're allergic to nuts, Nature Valley peanut butter granola bars are an express train to Anaphalactic Shockville. I kind of want to toss an open package of them onto a school bus and yell "Grenade!!!"