Thursday, July 7, 2011

Peanut allergy? Tell Jesus I said "hi".

If you're allergic to nuts--and, if I'm to go by those little "may contain traces of peanut molecules" signs I see fucking everywhere, 9 out 10 of the people reading this must be--you might want to avoid Nature Valley peanut butter granola bars, which carry this advisory text:

Contains: peanut, soy; may contain almond and pecan ingredients.

I wonder if they sprinkled a little gluten on top, just so the celiac disease crowd doesn't feel left out?

Basically, if you're allergic to nuts, Nature Valley peanut butter granola bars are an express train to Anaphalactic Shockville. I kind of want to toss an open package of them onto a school bus and yell "Grenade!!!"

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